THE COMPARISON GAME
I've always been awful at board games. Video games? Let's just say I got lapped a lot in Mario Kart. And don't even get me started on sports! I'm as comfortable on a court as a man is in Sephora, so yeah, not my forte.
But the one game I'm really good at?
The comparison game.
No doubt you've played it a couple times. You know the comparison game lasts almost as long as Monopoly...aka FOREVER. And after all my experience playing this game, I've come to the realization that no one ever wins.
Losing is the only outcome of A high stakes, cutthroat game of comparison.
Now days, I hear a lot of people talking about how terrible comparison is. I love that our community is becoming more vocal about the detrimental impact comparison has on confidence. But sometimes just hearing that I shouldn't do something isn't enough. Understanding that a change needs to take place... and actually knowing what practical steps to take? That's a bit different.
When you're playing the comparison game and your turn just never seems to end, here are some ways you can get ahead of the negativity (and pass go and collect $200)
1.) CELEBRATE OTHERS
Do you like her outfit? Tell her. Do you admire her confidence? Let her know. The easiest way to stop comparisons is to spend more time thinking about genuine compliments. If your mental approach is "How can I make her day?" you'll be more excited to encourage and feel less discouraged. Give it a try! (You can start with my photos ;))
2.) KNOW YOUR VALUE
We feel the pangs of comparison when we don't know our worth. It's easy to feel worthless when you don't have a full grasp of how special you are. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, think about what you offer that no one else can. No one has your outlook, your sense of humor or the same Chick-Fil-A order. That is a beautiful thing.
3.) GET BUSY
I actually think healthy amounts of comparison can be incredibly motivating. When I see other girls working hard and following their dreams, it inspires me. Take what has the potential to be a negative emotion and spin it into positive motivation. You wish you had a six-pack like her? Me too. But instead of judging yourself, use her success as an inspiration to motivate you to work harder.
(I'm in a very committed relationship with dessert, otherwise, I would totally join you at the gym.)
The comparison game is tempting. It's so easy to start to play! But just like Monopoly, it all ends in miserable defeat and with a big mess to clean up. Before you start another round, remember that you're worth more than Park Place and Boardwalk combined.
Why play a game you're destined to lose?
I'd rather gamble with grace instead.